Monthly Archives: March 2014

Finding peace with my body

by

Like most women, I’ve had my fair share of yo-yo’s of weight, and the associated self-deprecating thoughts. I’ve stared at the changes my body has gone through over the last decade as I transitioned from cute college co-ed to mom of two (my dad would say “you’re still cute!” So, thanks dad!). I’ve seen my belly change from flatter than I ever believed it was to stretchmark-ridden and pudgy. I’ve seen my butt and boobs go from lifted and perky to, well, the opposite of that. And what is up with the whiskers on my chin that were a lovely gift from pregnancy hormones?!

Cookie Monsters

Starting the love of cookies early…

But the truth is… each of these changes happened because my body did what it was designed to do – grow from girl to woman. I was blessed to have children in the process, but for the plenty of women out there who have chosen not to or cannot conceive, their bodies have undoubtedly also gone through the similar transformations and maturation that occur somewhere between the teen years and the mid-thirties. With that comes the maturation of mind, as well, to accept and eventually embrace these changes.

Of course, that’s not always easy. A few weeks ago my husband and I decided to join Weight Watchers to get our eating in check. We’d used WW before our wedding and had been so successful that we thought we’d give it another go. After my first week, I lost six pounds. I was floored, and on cloud nine. That is, until I got on the subway to work and someone eyed my stomach and offered (almost insisted) their seat. How was it that when I WAS pregnant, even at the end, it was rare for someone to offer their seat, but now 16 months after delivering my second baby and six pounds lighter than I was last week, someone was clamoring to do so? Of course, I appreciate their kindness and awareness of the possible need. But it was also a stark reminder that my relationship with my body is deeper than a number on a scale or a calculation of my dinner’s worth.

Lately, there have been so many postings on Facebook and in online articles about moms’ bodies – working out and toned, not working out and content, and somewhere in between. And somewhere deep in the center of that is the “mommy wars” debate. When will we, as a society, recognize the beauty and complexities of our bodies and embrace our own, and each other’s, bodies? When will we, as women, stop sizing each other up, longing for someone else’s toned arms or flat belly?

And a curiosity for gardening (and hopefully eating vegetables)

And a curiosity for gardening (and hopefully eating vegetables)

Earlier this week, I was at a professional conference where I made a new friend next to the cookie table. No, not like we met by the cookie table and then moved on as we swapped stories and shared a few laughs. Rather, I made a new friend while we stood firmly planted next to the cookie table and sampled each of the cookie varieties (with witty commentary) as we bonded over a deep love for chocolate and sweets (and a pretty intense sugar high to boot). As I developed a fast (and hopefully lasting) friendship with this new woman, I forced myself to push away the thought that the cookies would easily melt off her tall and lean figure, while they would likely set up permanent camp on my thighs (and belly. And ass.). Instead, I focused on the uncontrollable giggles we shared as our colleagues came looking for us, only to discover that we had attached ourselves to this other cookie-loving woman.

This was a big feat for me, as I’ve been challenging myself lately to try to respect different women’s attitudes about their bodies rather than comparing my own physicality to theirs. Instead of thinking “I wish I could fit into a dress like that,” I’ve been consciously thinking, “she is rocking that dress!” Or, instead of thinking “she must work out like crazy to look like that,” I’m now thinking “I’m so impressed with her commitment to taking care of herself.” It’s not always easy, and does take consciousness and some practice. But, it’s also incredibly freeing and is giving me space to find peace with my own body. With practice, it allows me to use the same thought process when I look in the mirror and give myself the same respect. After all, isn’t that what it’s all about?

How have you found peace with your own body?

Finding Me Time

by

I thought it only appropriate that my first official blog post would be about finding the holy grail of motherhood – “me time.” Afterall, this blog is entirely dedicated to moms (and dads) as individuals, with their own tastes (outside of a half eaten grilled cheese sandwich), interests (beyond Dora the Explorer), and hobbies (that don’t include reciting “Brown Bear, Brown Bear, what do you see?”).

Adjusting to being a mom x2

Before having kids, I don’t think I fully grasped the concept of “me time.” Let’s be honest – wasn’t ALL time “me time”? I could come and go as I pleased, eat what and when I wanted (and go out to a restaurant without an arsenal of crayons, stickers, coloring books, cheerios, wipes, sippy cups, and multiple apologies to the wait staff for the hunger-induced meltdown).

Before having kids, “me time” was really just “time.” Sure, I took breaks from my friends or my husband to relish in my personal space with a pedicure, movie, some retail therapy or reading a book in peace. But the truth is, I didn’t realize how precious or important this time was until there were other innocent beings relying on me at all times.

My friend just had her first baby and told me “I wish I’d appreciated sleep more before having my son! Like really appreciated it… slept whenever I wanted to, lounged in bed, and took naps just because.” Amen sister, ain’t that the truth.

However, as I’ve come out of that newborn fog and entered the world of two toddlers, I’ve learned that “me time” doesn’t have to be extravagant, well-planned, or long. In fact, sometimes “me time” is sitting in the car listening to the rest of my favorite song before going into the house and being greeted by the pitter patter of my kids barreling down the hallway into my arms. That hug is the best part of my day, but sometimes those last few lyrics of “baby you’re a firework…” is a close second (thank you Katy Perry!).

When my nephew (now 8) was an infant, my sister-in-law would go shopping at Target or the grocery store at nine or ten at night. I never understood it – why would anyone want to walk the aisles of any store at a time when most people are settling into bed? Now I know… “me time.” It wasn’t about getting essentials (which certainly happened) of picking up non-essentials (as everyone is apt to do at Target). It was just about getting out of the house and having a few minutes of time to herself. I too now enjoy a random shopping trip late at night. I get it now… what a luxury!

For all those moms (and dads) out there looking for ways to find some “me time,” without devoting too much time, here’s a list of some ideas:

  • Take a long shower
  • Volunteer to go buy coffee for your partner early on a Saturday morning
  • Go for a walk/run, even if only to the corner and back
  • Take the long way home
  • Commit to reading a page/chapter a day/week in a new book
  • Write in a journal while your kids are napping or you’re eating lunch
  • Arrange for a babysitter for a few hours every day/week/month
  • Get a mani/pedi (or a polish change – did you know they do ALMOST everything they would do with full service at a fraction of the cost?!)
  • Plant a few of your favorite herbs or foods in your backyard, or in a pot if you don’t have planting space

What do you do to get your “me time”? Let me know in the comments section of this post… or tell me about it while we walk the aisles of Target at 10pm next Saturday night.