Inspiration comes in the places where we least expect it. Today it was at the corner of College and Claremont in Oakland, California and inspiration’s name was Rosie. I met Rosie while waiting for a crosswalk SIGN to change to the flashing WALK, and in the moment when we both stood on the same corner today and shared a cursory smile, she took out her earbuds and commented on my umbrella. “Look at those eyes,” she said. “It’s like they’re a clear view into the world, with the strength of women like we saw on the Golden Globes last night.”
Intrigued, I agreed and told her I’d never thought of my umbrella that way. As the sign changed to signal that it was safe to cross the street, Rosie and I started talking about her life, the women’s movement of the 60s and the current one now started with the #metoo movement. She told me that in her 72 years, she’s seen a lot in this world and last night’s speeches gave her hope and inspiration for the future. As we continued walking and I told her about raising three girls in this era, she said to me “Raise them to be kind. But more so, raise them to speak up, to fight for what’s right and to charge their own path.” I told her how interesting it has been to raise kids in this political climate and the questions that have come from my kids – seemingly simplistic questions with complicated answers.
What she said next struck me.
“Write,” she said. “Are you a writer? Write it down. Write a blog. Share it. Share your experience. Share your words.” Given that one of my New Year’s resolutions was to get back into my blog and reinvigorate Finding Mom-me, she hit a chord and I told her I felt like she was a resolution incarnate.
Normally I would have been looking at my phone, or listening to something on my earbuds. But today, at this particular moment, on this particular walk, on this particular corner, I wasn’t. I was looking up, through the eyes of my umbrella and in that moment I shared an invaluable walk with a complete stranger (and walked 4 blocks out of my way because I didn’t want to stop walking).
It definitely made me think and reinforced the feeling that I need to get back to my blog and find my voice in that medium again. I’ll save that for tomorrow, or some day soon. Today, I just want to enjoy the universe’s way of telling me that this particular resolution is right on track and to always be open to inspiration.
Today my parents are celebrating their 46th wedding anniversary. WOW! This milestone is pretty incredible. Since getting married, they have moved completely from the East Coast to the West Coast with a 40 year “layover” in Arizona. They’ve gotten their advanced degrees, and started and retired from their careers with pretty significant accomplishments and accolades to boot. They’ve made countless friends, traveled a good portion of the world, and raised a pretty awesome lady (if I do say so myself!).
As the only child of two educator parents, I grew up in a household that valued kindness, social justice, education, and above all, love. We were a small but mighty unit of three (except for one special year when we had an exchange student from Brazil who made us a happy family of four. Hi sis!). My parents taught me independence at an early age which allowed me to forge my own path and to become my own person from from the get-go. One of their favorite stories to tell is about the first time they put me on a plane alone to visit my grandparents in Southern California. At the age of five, my parents took me to the gate, told me the flight was the same length of time as an episode of Sesame Street (which, to my disappointment I soon figured out did not mean that the airplane would actually show an episode of Sesame Street), and handed me off to the flight attendant to board the plane. I said goodbye and didn’t look back as I walked down the jetway and onto the airplane. “You didn’t look back,” they’ve told me time and again. And, I’ve always just laughed it off and held that moment as a point of pride. Until this week.
This week was my five year’s first week of summer day camp (another important part of my childhood). The first day, she gripped my hand tightly as the counselors introduced themselves and started a game for the kids to get to know each other. As she got more comfortable, I loosened our grip, first by standing next to her while we played, then sitting to the side while she played without me, and then giving her one last kiss as I walked away. And so, the second day I anticipated a similar progressive exit. But to my surprise, we got to the door of the camp building and she abruptly turned around, gave me a kiss and said “Mommy, I can go in by myself. I don’t need you to walk me.” Sure enough, she walked down the hall without turning back. And then I understood. I knew why that moment had been such an important milestone for my parents. They’d put me on a plane and sent me away for a week to stay with my grandparents; my experience with my own daughter was for 3 hours and was less than a mile from my house. But still, I finally understood. That independence that we so deeply try to instill in our children is a wonderful blessing, but man does it pull at your heart.
Living so far away from my parents for many years, I’d often felt jealous of my friends who had random movie nights with their moms or dinner out with their dads. But this last week, I saw my parents nearly every day. I took my dad to breakfast for a belated Father’s Day celebration. I spent a few days in my mom’s studio as she taught me to sew on her sewing machine. As a kid and even as a young adult, I never could have appreciated this time together. But now, I cherish it. I love that my dad can call us when he makes a dish for dinner that’s too spicy for them but knows we’ll like it, so he asks if he can bring it over. I love that my mom can take the time to teach me how to sew on a project that has taken months (even though it should have taken a few days) because we have the luxury of starting and stopping whenever we want to. I love that my kids can go to their grandparents’ house at 7am on a Sunday morning so my husband and I can get a little extra sleep. And I love that my kids are growing up with all of their grandparents (my parents and my mother-in-law) all only minutes away so they can be an active part of the kids’ lives and can attend sporting events, art shows, and special dinners out (and can watch the kids when we need to run errands or get in an occasional date night! Thanks everyone!).
Finding Mom(me) 