Proud to share another post published by Kveller!
As the sun set outside and bedtime encroached inside, I found myself sitting on the carpet in our living room, hugging a singing Elsa doll (when will “Let It Go” just go away?!). I was playing referee between my daughters, who were arguing–again–about whose turn it was to play with her.
Never mind that an identical Elsa doll (minus her clothes and crown) had been discarded in their bedroom minutes earlier. At this point, the Elsa doll in question sat in my lap–neutral territory–while my 2-year-old cried and my 4-year-old claimed that if her sister had the doll, it just wouldn’t be fair. And there I sat, reasoning with my girls about taking turns, sharing, and understanding each other’s feelings.
“That’s not fair to me,” is a phrase I hear a lot from my older daughter. Whether it’s about how many toys she has versus how many her friend has, or how much one-on-one time she is getting with mommy versus her sister, my 4-year-old daughter has developed a keen sense of fairness. When she perceives something to be unfair, her eyes fill with tears, her little chin quivers, and her already squeaky voice goes up an octave or two as she exclaims, “But that’s not fair to me!”
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3 thoughts on “Finding fairness”
You are such a good mom! I used “Siblings Without Rivalry” at these ages. Have you come across it? Basically it is a system that allows them (at first with coaching from you) to express themselves to each other and (eventually) work things out and handle their own disputes. My boys really loved it and I did not miss playing Solomon lol.
I haven’t seen Siblings Without Rivalry… is it a book? I’ll have to check it out!
Yes, the fairness issue. It continues on and on. As a kid I used to keep a written list of things my sisters could do/have that I didn’t. In this situation the older one does have a case, after all the little has a similiar doll, which she didn’t want to get from their bedroom and the little one is always taking the dress and crown off of her doll.